Talitha's Baptism and Confirmation - Saturday, September 10, 2016

Recently someone asked me why I haven't posted updates about Talitha. I didn't have a good answer. After all, her life is a miracle. I know that when we were in the middle of the intense trial, the daily blog posts allowed us to remember God and keep everyone updated. It was a sort of life line for which I will always be grateful.

Talitha's baptism at 8 years old was significant not only because of the importance of that ordinance but also because I was told she would live to be baptized. This was a HUGE comfort given most children do not survive Meduloblastoma.

The following is from my journal on her baptism day, September 10, 2016:

My son Trevor baptized Talitha.

Grandpa Peter D. Black was one of the witnesses along with Gary Wood, brother of Phillip Wayne Wood—Talitha’s other grandpa that passed away before Audrey and I were married.

I confirmed Talitha and remember the Spirit was overpoweringly strong. Here are a few thoughts I remember from the blessing:

• This is a day of prophecy fulfilled
• Even as she lived that the promises of the Lord might be fulfilled, even will she yet live to see more and important promises of the Lord fulfilled
• Talitha is now a daughter of Christ by covenant
• As she is faithful to Christ—her new covenant Father, He will give her the greatest inheritance of all, Eternal Life
• She will be protected from the adversary to enable her to continue fulfilling all of her mission and purpose
• Blessed with power to live according to the Good News of Christ even as the day of His coming to reign personally on the Earth draws nigh
• Blessed with Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, desire to always repent, strength to keep her baptismal covenant which is re-affirmed and strengthened by the Sacrament each week, power to receive the Holy Ghost as she has been granted this gift, and the ability to endure to the end in so living
• She has been an example and blessing to her family. She will continue to be a light an example and Her reach will extend even beyond the family now to bring souls unto Christ
• We all thank Talitha for the service she has already rendered to us all

After the confirmation, Audrey spoke and shared her witness of God’s loving hand in our lives even through trials that can be intense, even overwhelming. She showed two pictures of Tali taken at the Now I Can rehab clinic. One is of her sitting with her head in her hand with a look of complete frustration, exhaustion, even defeat while her therapist is right behind her with loving, kind, strong arms reaching around her to encourage. The other is of her with the same therapist holding her for support while she takes a big step forward. The pictures by themselves brought tears of intense emotion remembering this difficult time and the miracles that brought us through.

Audrey testified that Heavenly Father is right here with us during these times of trial that we all face. Like Talitha in the picture, there are moments of discouragement where we don’t want to go on or don’t know how. Father is right here with us through it all, reaching His arms around us. We also have times of progress where our countenance is bright and we feel great joy in the steps of progress He helps us make. What a beautiful witness of God’s love and constant support to every one of us.

I followed Audrey and told the story of being promised that Talitha would live to be baptized. This revelation was granted very early in the cancer fight when it was anything but certain that Talitha would make it through.  I’ve held to that promise from God and received His comfort over the years. I testified that even as Talitha’s life has great purpose and meaning so does every single life matter. And though each of us is handed trials that can overwhelm, God makes promises to each of us and He always keeps His promises.

I testified of the Good News of Christ and the promise of redemption and hope in Him. I quoted the scripture where Christ told His apostles before His death and resurrection, “In the world ye shall have tribulation but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” I witnessed that these things are true and that we may all rejoice in Christ even through our trials if we will look to Him and live.

It was an absolute joy to feel the Spirit testify through me. The divine words flowed without premeditation or restraint. Praise be to Him, I fulfilled the assignment He gave me to stand as a witness of Him and to testify of truth. I’m so grateful for His words to me in my heart afterwards that He is pleased. It truly was one of the most pure moments I’ve ever experienced where all was aligned with Him—all single to His glory.

Directly following our testimonies, we sang a closing hymn, Gethsemane. So many of us had tears flowing as we sang and Talitha was overcome by the Spirit and unable to sing as she just cried for joy and basked in the light of our loving Savior and Redeemer. What a beautiful thing to behold in my youngest daughter who just received the precious gift of the Holy Ghost.

Happy New Year!

Hard to believe it's been two years since we were looking down the barrel of a long battle with cancer starting mid-January of 2010. Then again, it seems like a long, long time ago.

Obviously the updates on Talitha are getting fewer and farther between. That's not because the challenges of life have somehow lost our address. Nor is it because we don't feel deep gratitude for our many, many blessings. Indeed, the support of friends, family, and our loving Father in Heaven are more constant that we could have hoped.

We are no longer in the heat of battle and daily struggle for the life of the little angel for whom this special blog was created to document her valient jouney through some early burning fires of her mortal sojourn. One day she will keep her own record of her on-going journey through what we hope will be a long, full, joyous life on Earth.

Until that time, we will continue to visit here as occasion permits and as the desire remains to provide a record that Talitha is not able to write personally but that hopefully she will someday draw strength from as she reads of the miracles, learning, and strength God gave to us through her life.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

I love Christmas! I love everything about Christmas!

Finally a party to celebrate what matters most. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

I love the Christmas story because it tells of the coming of THE central figure in the great plan of salvation. Christmas is a celebration of THE life of the world.

There can never be too many Christmas lights; never too many Christmas songs; never too many Christmas parties and get-togethers; never too much good will; never too much peace on earth; never too much praise and celebration for our great savior and redeemer Jesus Christ!

To everyone, everywhere: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

To our families, friends, and neighbors....Thank you for another wonderful year of support, prayers, and friendship. MERRY CHRISTMAS and may God continue to bless us every one!

Just bee-cause

Talitha's latest rounds of tests--MRIs, spinal tap, labs, IQ, etc--are encouraging. She's healthy, alert, capable, and progressing. Still a few areas playing catch-up--e.g. mobility up and down stairs--but overall a very positive outlook and indications of even being a little ahead for her age. I recently reviewed some pictures from the days following her brain surgery and know it's a miracle that she's even still with us. Those were some frightening days and weeks hoping and praying that she would "come back".

Tali's zest for life seems only to increase with time. She's getting a little more sure footed as the months pass and gets so excited anywhere she goes that she tries to run, even skip a little. She's polite when she wants to be; and gets her way consistently. She can be bold and demanding but always very tenderhearted especially when someone around her is crying or hurt. She seems to relate to those going through pain of any kind and tries very hard to get a smile back onto their face.

She loved dressing up yesterday as a little bee and even joined in with her brother and sisters in carving pumpkins. But she insisted on having her mom carve a sad pumpkin. So that's what she got. (I guess that's better than a scary or mean pumpkin.)

Interesting to note that after all the trouble Audrey went to in getting costumes put together, Talitha ended up spending a great deal of time walking around the house with a box on her head bumping into things. She loved this original box costume of her own making so much that she insisted on getting her picture taken just like she did with her bee costume.

She keeps us giggling and laughing for sure!

Smile and Laugh!

Talitha loves to smile and laugh.

Sometimes her laughter is genuine and deep. Sometimes it's fake. Either way it's infectious. Laughter and smiles breed more laughter and more smiles.

Just yesterday, Audrey was telling me about a documentary she watched about the making of the Star Wars movies. Fascinating, the ingenuity used in the first Star Wars movie when they didn't have unlimited funds (and things like light sabers didn't already exist). But perhaps the most interesting story is about R2D2, the endearing little robot that rolls around and never seems to get too shook up about anything in the crazy shoot-up-the-far-away-galaxy drama.

Well, this little robot character actually had a real, live actor inside controlling the movements and blinking, and rotating, etc... Of all the acting instructions you could give to someone who will never be "seen", what could you possible say other than "have fun" and "remember to push the right buttons at the right time"?

As it turns out, the director instructed this actor to smile. That's right...smile! And I guess his reaction was similar to mine when I heard that. After all, what difference could smiling have if no one will ever see your face?

But actors don't get paid to argue with the director so this guy just shook his head and did what he was told. Later on, he reported that the funniest thing started happening as he smiled and smiled inside this little robot can. The smile started showing up in the actions and blinking and movements of R2D2. Not only did the actor start having more fun with the part, people on the set remarked about the noticeable difference. And of course, who doesn't just love R2D2.

Smiling matters. Laughing matters. It changes us and it changes others around us.

When my younger brother called the other day and asked me how my business was doing, I started in telling him all the reasons why things were going great. Well, he knows something of the struggles and challenges of the economy and the recession and what we've been going through with life's trials. So I suddenly stopped and told him the obvious. "Hugh, it's my job to be positive."

Are things getting better? Yes.
Either things really are better, OR... just being positive for so long has talked my brain into believing things really are better. And if the mind can't tell the difference, why not just make the decision to be happy.

Why not decide to smile a little more. And laugh a little more. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT A LITTLE to begin with.

Except for when she's really tired, Tali is one pretty happy little girl. She doesn't wait for life to cheer her up. She decides to be happy and cheers up life!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(Come on over sometime...maybe she'll even do one of her fake laughs for you. It works. I promise you'll smile...and feel better too!)

HAPPY B-DAY #3!!!

What a day of celebration!

Tali was SO excited to turn three. She's been talking about it for months. And finally...it was here! She made the most of her day and just beamed.

I've never been more grateful for a birthday. Each day is a miracle in its own way. And a reminder...

Talitha is at the stage where depending on the moment she can look more like a young lady than a baby. I think I'll always see her as "my little girl".

For several days, she has been insistent that she have a birthday hat. And when the Birthday Princess hat appeared, it did not part from her head the whole day--except when the wind blew it off!

This morning when she woke up, she asked her mom, "have you made my cake?"  Even better, she got to help make her cake!

She loved opening her presents! Wish you could have seen some of her facial expressions. We're talking eye-popping, face-stretching delight! Her sisters and mom know exactly what floats her boat--everything Princess!



She loves playing at the park so her birthday party was...at the park.  Too much wind to get the candles lit on her cupcakes. But she pretended to blow them out any way.

The day was everything she imagined and more!

Welcome to another year, Tali.  We love you!!!

A different kind of summer

What a difference one year makes!

Last summer, Tali really couldn't be outside very much due to problems with sun exposure after chemotherapy.

This year, she'd live outside if we'd let her!

Last summer she was bald.

This summer...well let's just say she would've been right at home in the 80's with her mom and the "big hair" craze.  :-)

She's enjoying life and living to the fullest, almost like she's making up for lost time.

In between work, re-roofing our home, and the craziness of trying to keep up with 6 children ranging in age from 2 to 20, we are enjoying snatches of time together whenever we can find them. 

Gratitude--that's a word I just can't get enough of.  So grateful for the blessings of life, learning, and love. Amazed and grateful Talitha is still with us. How much she has taught me! 

Yes, it's a different kind of summer.

And different is good!

Worry less

Talitha had another full round of tests. The MRI results show things are still clear. The hearing test shows no hearing loss. The spinal tap results are still showing some irregular cells but the unusual cells are not cancerous so they will just keep monitoring according to the normal post-treatment schedule.

Tali now moves from being tested every 3 months to just once every 4 months for the next year. We'll take it.

As I was pondering life this last week, an interesting thought came to my mind: "Repent more; worry less." I like that. Worry is such a complete waste of time as it is incapable of changing anything. On the other hand, repentance is a God-given gift that allows us to change, improve, grow, and become.

Talitha continues her journey of life and teaching us. I'm grateful for the blessings of having her in my family. Her next big step now: potty training.  :-)

1 year since ringing the victory bell

Next Saturday marks the one year point from when Talitha completed her final bone marrow transplant cycle at Primary Children's Medical Center, rang the victory bell, and came home. I don't know that June 4, 2010 is any more significant than dozens of other miracle milestone days in Tali's journey. But it does mark a day of yet another new beginning, the point we returned home with changed, grateful, and exhausted hearts.

Tali's exuberance for life just keeps going. She lives with a houseful of older siblings who adore her and try to accommodate her voracious appetite for walks, books, playing, and music. She loves being around younger children and is delighted that her parents are finally letting her go to the full hour and a half of nursery at church on Sunday. She's in good health with a full head of hair again.

Tali has been getting MRI's, spinal taps, and other tests every 3 months as part of her post-cancer maintenance program. Her next two days of testing at the hospital are on June 7th and 8th. I believe that at the one year mark they move the maintenance procedures from quarterly to every 6 months. So I'm hoping there will soon be even fewer hospital visits and procedures. But whatever lies ahead, we hope to always look to Christ as our one true source for life and support. And as always, thank you for all the support and prayers and love over these many months.

It's always fun when Talitha gets lost in her own world and has more than a hospital room with which to imagine. The flower pots in front of our home are filled with water thanks to an abundance of moisture this spring. Tali would has stayed in this spot all day had we let her. How she enjoyed talking and playing with sticks in the water! Some days, I think she'd rather live outside. Can you blame her? 

Look up

Bathtime for Talitha is almost enjoyable again. She doesn't like to get in the bathtub but once started--and sitting down--she likes to play and then usually complains that she's not ready when it's time to get out.

It has been many months since she has been willing to let us cradle her head in our hands and lay her back in the water to get her hair washed. We're not sure if her ears are more sensitive now or what--definitely something. Now I don't even try to lay her back but instead just pour water on her head before applying a little shampoo.

Tali doesn't like to get water in her eyes. (I'm not aware of any child that does.) She instinctively puts her head down to protect her eyes. The head being down makes the water run right into her eyes. Of course that frustrates her...and me. So, I've been asking her to put her head up by saying "look up....look up at the ceiling." But that doesn't make any sense to her so she just keeps putting her head down ... and getting water and soap in the eyes.

I'm not one to give up easily so the last two times, I've tried showing Tali why the water keeps getting in her eyes. I have her look at me while I pretend to pour water on my head, first with my head in the "look up" position (where all is smiles as the water runs down my back) and then with my head in the downward, get-water-and-soap-in-the-eyes position complete with the imitative flustering and sputtering of the arms and head. She enjoys the demonstration and asks to see it again.

Well today, she finally decided to give her dad's crazy suggestion a try. When I said "look up", she did; and the water poured off her hair down her back instead of into her eyes. Both of us were delighted with the outcome.

At Easter time, I feel an even stronger, heavenward tendency to feel and express gratitude. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

How easy with life's trials, challenges, and responsibilities to get road weary, troubled, and tired. My instincts at such times don't always serve me. Too often when I feel life pouring down on my head, I look down with fear and get a face full. My Father in Heaven invites me to "look up"  with faith as a better way to endure the cleansing He desires me to have.  "Therefore, lift up your heads, and rejoice, and put your trust in God..." (Mosiah 7:19) 

I'm grateful for His loving ways, kindness, and patience. He lives!

Look up!

February Tests and Physical Therapy

We have several things to report since the last blog post in January. But first, let me say thank you. Thank you to the Lord for His continuing mercy and grace toward Talitha and our whole family. Too many blessings to even begin adequately numbering them. And thank you to our family, friends, and neighbors for ongoing encouragement and prayers.

Tali is growing by leaps and bounds. Her hair is long enough now for Audrey to "finally" put a ponytail in--no matter how small it may be. When I see Tali's smile, it melts me pretty much every time.

Talitha is on a maintenance program that calls for blood work, MRI's, and Spinal Taps/Lumbar Punctures every three months. Thankfully, the February tests were favorable. No tumor, no cancer cells, improving ANC--i.e. her body's ability to fight off infection is improving. The doctor tells us it is definitely cause for celebration EVERY time it comes back clean.

Some days, the biggest challenge is to not take the miracles and blessings for granted. God is so gracious and good. When I stop to count my blessings, it takes my breath away.

Talitha was on a waiting list for the "Now I Can" therapy. The wait is over and she is now doing multiple physical therapy sessions each week. They are very optimistic the walking challenges will be corrected very quickly. We're optimistic too as we can already see some improvements.

One of the things they do with this therapy is tape Tali's legs with some special tape that helps her feel support towards a proper standing and walking stance. She wears this tape 24/7 (in the bath tub and everything). When it falls off, they replace it.

The therapy lasts for two hours each session and involves muscle massage, balance exercises, electrical impulse stimulation, and proper motion simulation/repetition.

Some of these exercises and activities are more tolerable than others. It has been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster for Talitha who is already dealing with being two. She is getting better but Audrey still has to leave the room and watch from behind the one way mirror glass so that Tali does not struggle so hard to be rescued.

The "spider cage" hooks 8 bungee cords to her little belt and provides support while Sergio, her primary therapist, works on her balance, coordination, and muscle development. As this progresses, some of the cords are removed one by one until she is standing on her own. Throughout, Sergio puts pressure or pushes on different areas to encourage an auto response reaction that trains her in stability. Think of it like a level you'd use in construction. Tali is tipped to one side and these exercises are helping bring her "bubble" back to the middle position so she won't walk crooked or lopsided the rest of her life.

We are in awe of all the Lord has inspired and prepared to bless His children and support us through trials of every kind. Talitha is a warrior spirit. She reminds us with her example that God has a plan, we're not alone, and all things are possible through Christ.

P.S. The Now I Can Foundation is a charitable organization that makes it possible for families like ours and so many others to receive life changing therapy for a fraction of what it would otherwise cost. They have their annual 5K run/walk coming up and all proceeds go towards helping children walk again. Here's a link to get more information and/or to participate in this worthwhile event:  http://www.nowican.org/runtowalk2011.htm

Sunshine

Already a month into 2011...how does the time go so quickly?!

Talitha is doing really well. Her hair is getting longer, she's got meat on her bones again, and she's constantly saying things that either have us in stitches or make us ask, "Did she really say what I think she just said?"

We take her to the first of three church meetings each week--Sacrament Meeting. But we still aren't brave enough to have her stay and play with the other children in the Nursery.  It's just so easy for her to pick up bugs when she's around people. She got sick a few weeks ago and that really scared us because of what looked like a relapse in development. Prayers, Priesthood blessings, and nutrition keep making a difference as God is making it possible for our little one to remain with us.

The miracles keep happening.

And the smiles and joy keep happening.

This past week, Audrey was at the store with Talitha. When they came outside, the sun was bright and the day beautiful in spite of the cold weather. Out of the blue, Talitha blurted with customary enthusiasm, "oh...there is sunshine in my soul!"

Yes, Tali...there IS sunshine in your soul. And you've made our whole world brighter because of it!

Merry Christmas and Thank you!

So much joy in our home!

The emotions are so close to the surface. Christmas has never meant more to me...because...Christ has never meant more to me.

Such a blessing to have all of our children together and sharing special memories of this past year and expressing our love for all that Jesus has done for us as we celebrate His birth.

We each gave Jesus a gift this year for Christmas. During a special hour on Christmas Eve before going to bed, we shared what those gifts were.We all cried as the gratitude just flowed.

How blessed we have been by the Lord!

How blessed we have been by each of you!

Thank you!



Merry Christmas!

The Miracle of Christ

I love Christmas!

I love that we have a huge celebration to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ. My need for Christ has never been greater. And I'm thrilled to see more and more people turning to Him.

I have witnessed his power in my life and in our family and know that there is nothing He can't do according to His will.

It has been a very interesting, even inspiring last few days.

The news of the Provo Tabernacle burning down was shocking. I personally saw flames raging nearly a full day after the fire fighters had been pouring water for hours on end through their huge fire hoses.

Finally, 36 hours after the fire started, they were able to enter the building to begin the tedious process of finding the fire's cause and also examining the structural integrity of the remaining walls.

I was so moved to see a photo of the firemen holding a picture of Jesus Christ with outstretched hands. This was the first item recovered from the devastated building. The picture was completely charred except for the area immediately around Christ. Seeing this reminded me that no matter what may happen to the physical things around us or what may happen because of trials and challenges of every sort, it is Jesus that matters most. He has all power, wisdom, and strength. He is our Savior. He is our Rescuer. He is the giver of all life and all hope.

That's why Jesus is the heart and focal point of Christmas.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

Provo Firefighters look at a painting of Christ that was burned in the fire. The fire burned the entire image except the image of Christ near the center. Provo City Firefighters continue their work at the historic Provo Tabernacle after the building was destroyed by fire. Saturday, Dec. 18, 2010. (Photo by Scott G Winterton, Deseret News)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"Sparkalies" and Christmas Joy!

Talitha is LOVING all the excitement around our home about Christmas. From the music to the lights, she is fully onboard with this celebration.

Audrey has several nativity scenes on display around the house. I came in the kitchen one morning this week to find Tali playing with one of the little sets that she has adopted for her own. She loves little baby Jesus and likes to keep Mary close by taking care of him.

When it gets dark, she stands by the window looking at all the "sparkalies"--her endearing term for Christmas lights. It doesn't matter how many lights she sees. She just can't contain her delight. Sometimes we'll drive in the car and she'll see the lights in the neighborhoods and just about go crazy trying to take it all in. There's nothing like the enthusiasm of a child at Christmas time. I compare this enthusiasm of children to the words spoken by the angel to herald the birth of the Christ child:

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." (Luke 2:10)

What if we really captured the significance of Christ this year? What if we got so excited just at the thought of Christ that we had to share our joy with someone or we'd pop?!
 
The more I experience His saving grace and rescuing power, the more excited I get to celebrate His birth. So when I see Talitha filled with more excitement than her little body can handle, I feel joy. Real joy.
 
So I say, let’s all join our voices this year with angels past and present in expressing the glad tidings of this sacred hymn:
 
Hark the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Persistence and Good News!

The results of the spinal tap are what we had hoped-- clean!

We are SO grateful Talitha's spinal fluid is cancer-free. The ventricles in Tali's brain are still enlarged but her head has adjusted to this and continues to process spinal fluid without assistance from a shunt.

She keeps us laughing now even when we don't necessarily want to be laughing. The other day there was a "warm dispute" happening in another room between two of Tali's siblings. Talitha--with her awkward walking--made her way into that other room and then in a serious voice asked "what is going on here?!"

How she has picked up so much, so fast and knows how to use it all in context is shocking at times. Not exactly what I was expecting especially after brain surgery and the mute-ism that came with it during those first scary days nearly a year ago.

I heard Audrey say in Church today that because of what she has experienced, she knows now that regardless of how bad or hard things get, Christ has the power to get you through it. That's why you can trust Him....completely. (She said it so much more eloquently it just brought tears to my eyes.)

I've been thinking lately about the many lessons that have come through the blessing of trials. I came across a quote from Napolean Hill that I'd read before but didn't appreciate as much as I do now. It shed new light for me on the scriptures that talk about the need for "opposition in all things" and the necessity to "press forward with a steadfastness in Christ" and to "endure to the end":

"There is no substitute for persistence! It cannot be supplanted by any other quality! Remember this, and it will hearten you, in the beginning, when the going may seem difficult and slow.

"Those who have cultivated the habit of persistence seem to enjoy insurance against failure. No matter how many times they are defeated, they finally arrive up toward the top of the ladder. Sometimes it appears that there is a hidden Guide whose duty is to test men through all sorts of discouraging experiences. Those who pick themselves up after defeat and keep on trying, arrive; and the world cries, "Bravo! I knew you could do it!" The hidden Guide lets no one enjoy great achievement without passing the persistence test. Those who can't take it, simply do not make the grade.

"Those who can "take it" are bountifully rewarded for their persistence. They receive, as their compensation, whatever goal they are pursuing. That is not all! They receive something infinitely more important than material compensation--the knowledge that "every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent advantage!"

No matter what the trial is, no matter how difficult the road, none of us are alone. God will help us. God wants to help us. There is no end to His power and ability to lift us, heal us, supply us, comfort us, rescue us, and save us.

Now that's Good News!

Tests and gratitude

So much to be grateful for!

Three days in a row of trips to hospitals for tests can wear you out pretty good. But Talitha did great even with one, sometimes two IV pokes in each wrist and each foot and a needle in the back at different points during the course of those three days.



Tali's kidney and heart tests didn't show any problems. (Yay!) The MRI looks great as far as no tumors in the head and spine. (Yay!) We won't have results on the spinal tap till next week but trust that the fluid sample drawn will be cancer free. Perhaps the most exciting of all was that the hearing tests showed the best results from any test so far! (Yay!!)

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers and support. There just is no way to adequately express the gratitude we feel.

Tali is thankful for her new coat she received just in time for the very cold week and the early morning trips to Salt Lake. On both Tuesday and Wednesday she had to be sedated which means no eating or drinking in the morning. On Tuesday, she didn't even ask for food or milk from the time she woke up to the time of the MRI. Shocking as this was, it sure did make the morning much more pleasant for mom.

Thank you, Tali!

Next round of tests

The holiday season kicks off in a new way for us as we begin the week with 3-days of tests at three different hospitals.

Tomorrow (Monday) is the echocardiogram and kidney test. Talitha will start the day off with a clinic visit at the Oncology offices at the PCMC. There they will insert two IV ports--one in each wrist. Tali is old enough now to know what's about to happen when it comes to needles so there is no delayed reaction like there was last December in PICU. She does not appreciate pokes like this and is quite vocal with her feelings on the matter. (Please let the nurses find good veins the first try.)

After clinic, Audrey will take Tali across the enclosed walkway from the PCMC to the University Hospital to begin her kidney tests. From there, they will go back to the PCMC for the echocardiogram. Then back to the University Hospital to continue/finalize the kidney tests. (Please let Tali have a good night so she'll be ready for a long day ahead.)

Tuesday is another MRI. This one will be at the Riverton IHC facility. They plan to keep the IV ports in Tali's wrists (used in Monday's tests) to spare her additional pain--she will need to be sedated for the head and spinal column scans.

Wednesday will be the sedated hearing test and lumbar puncture/spinal tap at the PCMC. Again, the plan is to keep the IV ports active and use them for access on Wednesday too.

We are encouraged that after a rough week of being sick, Talitha is doing much better. We kept her home from church as a precaution because she has a lingering cough. Suppressed as it is, we are grateful her immune system is showing some spunk.

Thank you for praying for Talitha. She's getting better and improving slowly but surely.

So much to be thankful for...

Happy Thanksgiving!

What do we allow to define us?

Talitha picked up a bug that's set up shop--temporarily--in her respiratory system.

Sunday night we heard her start with some congestion and by Monday morning, you could hear it in her lungs. The thought of a hospital trip makes me cringe. So we've been doing everything we can to support her little body in reversing this sickness.

Besides Tali receiving a blessing, we've been praying, keeping her hydrated and filled with good food, good thoughts, and lots of love.

She seems to be in good spirits and plays and follows a normal routine. She tires a little more easily and doesn't resist her afternoon nap as strenuously.

Audrey was quite shocked in going back and looking at pictures of Tali when she was undergoing cancer treatments. Now that she has hair again and is putting on weight and acting so normally, it's hard to see the pictures of her in such a sick condition.

I try not to think about it too much other than to praise the Lord and remember His miracles and to look for His hand in my life. I know God carried us and made it possible to do what we could never have been able to endure on our own.

I've been thinking lately of what we allow to give definition to our lives. This journey with Talitha has of a necessity consumed a large portion of our time. The lessons that have come and keep coming are a blessing for which I'm grateful. 

However, I've noticed that when so much energy and attention is given to one area, unless we are adequately grounded, that part of life can start disproportionately coloring the whole picture, almost like painting a landscape with too few colors as if some of the colors ran out so you start using blue when you should be using yellow.

Part of the challenge then is in facing the trials of life and enduring them well without allowing the problems to define who we are. I know this may sound weird, but I'm starting to see how it could happen that if one particular challenge over-defines who you are, then when that problem passes, you could lose a sense of identity because a large part of how you defined yourself is no longer part of the picture.

A better approach would be to allow the definition of who we really are to be founded upon or closely tied to Christ and His plan of happiness for us. That way, we can build definition around something that doesn't change over time. In fact, we can trace the lines of our character, our self-worth, and what matters most to us over and over knowing that the picture most closely resembling our Lord and Savior will be wonderfully balanced and of enduring value.

In short, a problem can mold a person or a person can mold a problem. The difference is essentially the degree to which Christ is the defining role model.

Thanksgiving

I know the official holiday doesn't come till later in the month, but I just love Thanksgiving.

We've seen firsthand what a game changer gratitude can be. Like a lot of other heaven-encouraged virtues, gratitude by itself doesn't make everything smooth again but it sure does shine an illuminating light to dispel darkness and encourage hope.

Gratitude also helps remind that God really is over all.  Gratitude leads to remembering which leads to trust which leads to confidence.

Gratitude has a soothing way of dissipating worry. And since worry is a complete and utter waste of time and energy, gratitude is energizing.

I love that we recognize and celebrate Thanksgiving.

You can see by Talitha's smile that she loves this time of year too.

The weather has turned a lot cooler but Tali still insists on going outside as often as she can talk someone in to taking her outside.

Her walking is steadily improving and her love for life and people is obvious. There's just nothing quite as sweet as hearing her say "I love you."

She's gaining weight, growing hair, and trying to be about as normal in good ways as we could hope. We try not to think about upcoming MRIs and tests but you have to pay attention to the calendar even when you'd rather not.

Obvious reminders of past trauma are fading with time--e.g. hair has almost completely covered the scar on the back of Tali's head--and that's another tender mercy from God.

What I don't want to see fade is the lessons and the learning. Life can be a series of distractions and competing voices luring away from what matters most. Good vs. Evil isn't just the substance of fairy tales.

God is real. He has a real plan for our happiness. This life is not the end. Families are sacred and they can be Eternal. And what we do in this life matters. It matters now and it matters in preparation for what's to come after this life.

The miracle of trials is that things can get very focused very quickly on what matters most. And when you seek the Lord especially in the midst of trials, He makes His hand very obvious and that seems to compress the time frames for learning vital lessons.

One of the things I’ve learned is that the difference between a trial accelerating your growth instead of stunting your growth can often be traced to the choice of gratitude instead of anger or bitterness.

So much to learn and so little time, but I'm more grateful than ever for a loving Heavenly Father and the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ.