I watched Audrey change—for the last time hopefully—the dressing that covers Talitha's central line.
Talitha cried as the adhesive pulled her skin. Changing the bandage and cleansing the area around the central-line-entry-point is not a fun operation for Tali or her mom. It has become as routine as giving Tali a bath.
In fact, it's hard to remember back to when Talitha did not have a central line.
Now, if all goes well tomorrow as we expect, the daily saline flushes, heparin locks, dressing changes, mesh-netting tops, aqua-guards for bath time, and emergency clamps on our key chains will suddenly become a thing of the past.
And gratefully so.
I find that I've been a bit anxious about Tali getting another spinal tap. If they didn't find cancer cells in the last spinal fluid exam they won't find cancer cells this time either, right?
Seems that faith is like doing dishes. No matter how clean I wash the dishes today, those same dishes require washing tomorrow and the next day and so forth.
So it is with faith. No matter how much I believe in God and trust Him today, I still need to believe and trust tomorrow and the next day and so forth.
Prayer is like that too.
So is reading the scriptures.
So is keeping the commandments.
Like breathing oxygen, if I stop doing certain things it can get bad...fast.
Even at this moment, I'm reminding myself of that beautiful phrase I heard back in April and have repeated many times since: "our faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependant on outcomes."
Getting bad news about Talitha (or any of our children) would be difficult--as we've already experienced. But losing my faith because something didn't go the way I wanted it to or thought it should would be tragic.
That's why it's so important to seek the Lord early and build upon the rock of Christ before the storms of life rage. Come what may, the Rock will not budge for Christ is stronger than it all.
But build on the sand or the philosophies of the world and even a mild storm can shake you and break you. I can't think of anything more perilous than a faith that waits and depends on how things may or may not turn out.
So please, Lord, help me get all the way off the sand and all the way onto the Rock.