Saturday, January 23, 2010

Cytoxan (and other thoughts about life)

Where do people come up with all the weird names for the different chemotherapy drugs? My brother Evan is a Neurologist and he says they actually do market testing to determine what people will respond to best. I can't imagine anybody "marketing" chemo. If they do, they probably didn't do much market testing with Cytoxan. I mean, what does that word sound like to you? We know that chemo can be toxic to the system but they didn't even try to hide that fact with Cy"toxin".

Oh well. Too many medical terms, processes, and lists of possible side effects running through my head.

(I asked the nurse if we could get college credit towards a nursing degree for all this time spent in the hospital helping. She said that quite a few parents actually do get nurse certified because they do get so involved with the long term care in situations like this. Wow.)

Received a forwarded email from a friend of mine who is serving a two year mission for the LDS Church in the Dominican Republic. From time to time they have conferences with visiting leaders of the Church who help inspire them to do their best to bring people to Christ. During one of these conferences the visiting leader, David Bednar, opened up the meeting for any of the missionaries to ask questions. My friend raised his hand and asked the question, "How have you personally been able to put more trust in the Lord?" [This is something I'm trying to learn how to do so I read on with heightened interest.]

The answer my friend reported was very interesting to me: (1) serving His children, and (2) seeing the Lord 'touching' you or others in your life.

But the part that hit me the strongest was what this leader said directly to my friend while looking him in the eyes: "remember everytime the Lord has touched you and that will give you the patience and diligence you need in your life." [Isn't that amazing advice?!]

There's such an enabling power in Gratitude, isn't there? When we remember all that God has done for us, we have a grateful heart and have power to see the best in ourselves and others. And we want to be better and do better and help others along the way. But when we forget God's hand in our life--everything from the oxygen we breathe to the times He has helped us through the scrapes big and small--that's when we become blind to everything good. In our state of forgetful blindness we panic, fear, blame, and are miserable.

I've kept a journal for over 22 years now. There's a lot of travel-log type stuff I've written along the way that can bore you to tears but fortunately, there's also been a lot of writing about very special experiences with my family and children and life's endeavors that clearly demonstrate and help me remember the countless times God has been there for me and for those I care deeply about. The evidence I've accumulated over the years just from my life about the Lord's hand all around where I can see it and witness it personally literally fills handwritten books on my shelf at home.

Our lives on this earth don't begin with mortal birth and don't end with what we call physical death. It's not always easy keeping this perspective when you feel pain in the moment. But when I do remember, that's when I feel peace, hope, love, gratitude and so many other virtuous emotions that help to keep me sane through the deep trials that can come to each of us in life.

Let's all keep going with as much gratitude and remembering as we can muster. There's so much good we can all do in this world if we will.

Thank you all for your prayers and faith on our behalf. You have lifted our burdens and made them light.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for you're comments. I know you are trying to share how you keep up you're strength but I have grabbed on to you're comments and strength for myself. You have helped me. I have been told, repeatedly, that time will ease my pain but that's not true. The pain has gotten worse lately and reading you're comments has helped me alot. Thank you for allowing me to share in you're pain to help mine. The things that I have learned during the past year is: be faithful and my prayers WILL be answered; reading the scriptures morning & night keeps me less depressed; prayers morning & night keeps me focused. My prayers are with you. Thanks again both of you, for you're help. Love Elaine