Sunday, April 11, 2010

Choosing peace

Talitha's rest day was pretty much that except for the mandatory three baths to keep the Thiotepa off her skin as it excretes through her sweat glands.

She does not like the baths and with rare exception screams from start to finish. We haven't figured out why. Another parent I spoke with accross the hall said her boy had the same reaction.

Just two more baths to go tomorrow and her system should be Thiotepa free.

Tali's chemo fatigue came on strong late this afternoon. She had a super long nap and then fell asleep in my arms for another hour after I got her up from her nap. Then she practically fell asleep sitting up on the floor mat this evening. So I asked the nurse to prep the tub earlier than planned and we got her through the final bathing ordeal of the day.

She's still drinking pretty good but the eating is starting to really drop off. They say this is to be expected but it's not so fun watching it happen.

Tomorrow's a big day with her first bone marrow transplant. They are expecting it to go well as it's an Autologous transplant--meaning she's her own donor of stem cells. (Often when the stem cells are from another donor, your body fights the transplant and causes a number of not-so-fun challenges requiring substantial "neutralizing" medicines and other yucky stuff.)

I'm learning that "peace" is a choice as much as my attitude. The Lord has been constant in His support through these months of trial. When I choose His voice as the dominant influence in my life, the peace I feel is as real and constant as He is. When I choose to let other voices have significant air-time, the peace I feel ebs and flows with the occurances of the moment and my uncertain interpretations of them.

I hope to make a concerted effort this week to choose constant peace regardless of what happens around me in or out of the hospital.

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