Today was a hard day.
Talitha is tired, keeps vomiting, has very little to no appetite, and now has diarrhea. She fell asleep on her Dad when they were playing on the mat (truth be told, they both had a half hour nap ;O). The good news in all of this is that her skin in the diaper area is holding up pretty good so far. It's just frustrating to have some of the more "normal" BMT problems that we haven't had to deal with as much before. It was so much smoother the first round...
I wish I could put a bandaid on it and make it all better. Oh how I wish. I know we shouldn't wish away our trials, they are the things that make us stronger, make us the people God wants us to be. But some days, I wish there were big huge bandaids.
This past week when I did one of my walks I decided to take a different route just to liven things up a bit. I was so deep in thought that I didn't pay attention to where I was heading and found myself a bit confused and "lost." Where I thought I was heading for a main road was actually not the one I wanted. I started looking for something to get my bearings. And then I saw them--the cranes!
Down below the PCMC they are constructing a new building and I have been watching those cranes since the first few weeks we were here (clear back in December!). I was soooo happy to have a focal point, something to get me out of this mess (I was a lot farther southwest than I had intended.) So head for the cranes I did go.
It was not as easy as I wanted it to be. I had to cross some busy roads, and make my way around buildings, and through parking lots. But, finally I got to the cranes and looked up to see the top of the PCMC. Happiness.
The next obstacle was to climb the hill and get to the side walk. It was a steep hill with lots of grass. When I finally got to the top it was a huge blow to find out I had two more darn hills to go. I couldn't see them before, my perception of what was actually there had somehow been hindered by trees, shadows, sunshine in my eyes, and maybe by my hospital-stay-brain.
So I kept climbing. And climbing. And then, when I finally did reach the top of that third hill, oh the joy!! I wanted to throw my arms out and spin around and sing a "Sound of Music" song (I restrained myself).
The cranes were not a bandaid for my problem, they didn't fix it. But, they did help me get focused and redirected and I am grateful for those cranes. I am grateful for so many things that help me stay focused. It is not always easy.
Would it be too much to ask you to once again pray for Talitha? I know He is listening and is nearer than we think.